1 post tagged “crafts”

Today I am dorkily delighted with paper punches in the shape of gift tags. These came from the bowels of the Jo-Ann Fabrics scrapbooking department, which is truly a place designed to harrow my very soul, and yet there I was, and here we are. I have to confess that the modern scrapbook phenomenon has provided me with a number of useful and appealing tools for doing things to paper that surely would not have been available otherwise, and for this I should be grateful. It's just that the phenomenon itself, with its peculiar mass-produced, paint-by-numbers, who-would-want-this bathos, makes my teeth itch.

But anyway, I am happy to be newly endowed with the ability to make crisp, snazzy gift tags out of whatever stuff I please, because I was tired of folded pieces of wrapping paper stuck on with what I learned in kindergarden to call, unfortunately, "moron rolls" of tape, and the tags I was finding for sale were all deeply, deeply hideous. By contrast, these guys are aesthetically pleasing and stay on the damn package so that we will still know who it is supposed to go to by the time we actually want to hand it over. I like this one here, made from a package of expensive marshmallows from Williams-Sonoma. HAPPY RSHMA!

F. gave us a little holiday coaching so that we might not utterly fail to be festive. As a result we now possess some Christmas crackers and stockings to hang by the chimney (care not included). We also have a tiny tree, actually a rosemary plant, decorated lavishly with three whole ornaments. It is almost exactly the size of the cat. Amazon is also sending us a  small string of battery-powered LED lights to go with it, so soon we will be just the Xmassiest house in town. I'm still a bit concerned that the holiday itself is going to bum me out, but that is of course the most traditional tradition of them all, so I've decided to stop worrying and love the bomb. It's beginning to look a lot like Fuckwad, everywhere you go.